Here, what your body language in some everyday situations might say about your marriage, and how to be sure you're sending your man loving silent messages.
Situation 1: The Hello Kiss
Good signs
"Soft lips that linger just an extra second clearly say, 'I'm happy to see you and I wish we could do more of this,'" says Susan Quilliam, author of Body Language Secrets: Read the Signals and Find Love, Wealth and Happiness. Notice, too, whether other body parts get into the act. "People express warmth by hugging with their full bodies," says Stella Resnick, Ph.D., a Los Angeles-based psychotherapist and author of The Pleasure Zone: Why We Resist Good Feelings & How to Let Go and Be Happy. "They press their hearts together to reestablish their intimacy after spending time apart."
Warning signals
"Kissing with hard, closed lips communicates tension and avoidance of intimacy," says Quilliam. "Hugging" with most of your bodies separated is also a sign of obligation, not intimacy. Explains Dr. Resnick: "Your chest can become concave as your heart literally pulls away from the other person."
Ways to send a more loving message
Okay, so the spaghetti's turning to mush and your kid just spilled his juice. Try to remember that your together-again greeting sets the tone for the evening ahead. Kisses that barely brush your partner's lips send an "I'm just doing this because I have to" message. "Instead, make a conscious effort to kiss and hug your husband hello with the same enthusiasm with which you greet your kids," says Julius Fast, the author of Body Language, one of the first books on the subject. And be sure to follow it up with some generous eye contact. "A long, loving gaze says: 'I'm putting my day behind me and focusing on us,'" explains Dr. Resnick.
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